


panic.

by lovepolaris



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Vulnerable Oikawa, iwaizumi is oikawa's safe space, oikawa is iwaizumi's home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29175969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovepolaris/pseuds/lovepolaris
Summary: Iwaizumi was never the type of person to panic. He was often praised for always being calm and level headed, but not right now. Right now, as he feels his boyfriend’s tears wet through his shirt, he feels like he’s at a loss.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 128





	panic.

Iwaizumi was never the type of person to panic. He was often praised for always being calm and level headed, keeping a cool expression on his face and never letting his emotions get the best of him.

Basically growing up taking care of his little cousins who stirred something up every other day had trained Iwaizumi to be calm. He was always patient, always preferring to keep his wits with him. Not to mention he’s had Oikawa glued to his side since they were wearing diapers. 

He took pride in this, how he was composed most of the time. Never one to lose his temper and always having his emotions in check.

His stoic nature had made him a good co-captain and ace too. It let him get a hold of the reins and steer the team to victory most of the time. It was an asset that made him look at matches in an out of the box perspective, it made him good at strategizing which plays should be done next. 

Iwaizumi was never a panicky person.

That’s why when Iwaizumi startles awake one night, a sob wrenching him out of his slumber, the first thing he does is put his hand to his chest to try and calm his racing heart. Iwaizumi looks at the clock and it reads 2:34 A.M. 

He tries to rub the sleep from his eyes but stops short when he hears his boyfriend let out a whimper next to him. “Baby?” he whispers into the dead of the night.

Silence.

Iwaizumi focuses his eyes on his boyfriend and notes how Oikawa’s back is ramrod straight, his breath coming out in little puffs. “Babe,” he tries again. No answer.

“Tooru,” he coaxes, and then a dam breaks.

Oikawa lets out a sob, a sound so heart wrenching that it makes panic flare in Iwaizumi’s chest. What was going on? Was he hurt?

“Baby, what’s wrong? c’mere” he says as he gently pulls Oikawa to his chest.

Iwaizumi was never the type of person to panic. He was often praised for always being calm and level headed, but not right now. Right now, as he feels his boyfriend’s tears wet through his shirt, he feels like he’s at a loss.

“Iwa-chan, I don’t know what to do. I'm so lost” Oikawa croaks.

“I’m here, I've got you.” He whispers back, rubbing soothing circles on his partner’s back.

“It hurts Iwa-chan, I feel like I'm grasping at straws, it's too much.” Oikawa half sobs, a knife to his heart.

Every cry, every whimper, and every tear he can feel that drops onto his shirt sends a wave of panic into his system. 

Iwaizumi holds Oikawa close, his Oikawa who says he feels like he’s broken and not enough, never enough. 

“Shhh, don’t say that. You will always be enough Tooru.” He says as he kisses Oikawa’s tears away. 

“Iwa-chan, I’m so tired.” Oikawa whimpers, another lone tear falling from his face. 

The knife in his chest digs deeper and twists some more. 

“I feel like everyone's eyes are on me. Like everyone is expecting me to do good, to  _ be _ good. I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s tiring Iwa-chan. What if I’m not cut out for this? What if I’m not as great as they think I am? I’m so scared of failing people. I don’t want to disappoint them. I won’t be able to take it, I’m exhausted, Haj.” Oikawa says in a voice so small he probably wouldn’t have heard it if he wasn’t so attuned to the boy next to him. 

He takes Oikawa’s hands and kisses them “So we rest Tooru, you’re safe with me. Make me your safe place just like how I’ve made you my home.” he tells Oikawa. 

“I love you.” he continues when he’s met with silence. “When you feel like everything has gotten too much, then come to me. Let me share the burden, Tooru.” 

“Do you ever feel like your head is filled with cotton Iwa-chan? Or like it’s so loud and filled with static? It kind of feels like that right now. Have you ever felt that?” 

“Yeah, whenever you make me binge your stupid alien documentaries.” He chuckles, tries to lighten the mood. Tries his best to chase away all of Tooru’s aches and pains.

“Hey!” Oikawa exclaims and hits him on the chest. “Mean Iwa-chan! I'll have you know those are very informative!”

“Mhmm,” he hums, conceding. He pulls Tooru closer. “Don’t hide from me okay?” He whispers, trying to get rid of the worry and panic in his voice. “Talk to me, I’ve got you. Always.” 

“Okay.” 

“You scared me Tooru, I didn’t know what was wrong or what to do for a second.” He admits

“I’m sorry Iwa-chan.” Tooru says pressing a kiss to his chest, right where his heart is. “Sing for me?” Tooru asks, and who was he to deny him? When did he ever have the power to say no to him?

Iwaizumi starts humming, his voice carrying into the dead of the night and into Oikawa’s ears, bringing comfort. 

He stays awake well into the night. All of his attention on the boy next to him. Watching him basked in what little moonlight sneaks through their curtains.

Iwaizumi thinks about how the only times he does panic is when it involves Oikawa.

In 4th grade, when Oikawa had gotten admitted to the hospital, Iwaizumi had thought his best friend would die. He cried so much, begging his mother to take him to the hospital because he  _ needed  _ to see Oikawa himself. He didn’t know what to name the feeling of restlessness in his chest was, why he couldn’t sit still. Panicked.

In their last year of middle school, Oikawa had done a serve during practice and landed badly on his right knee. Had said he couldn’t get up and Iwaizumi was instantly there, looking down at his best friend. Shaky hands clutching his arm, panic in both of their eyes.

In their second year of high school, he found Oikawa at the back of their gym. Lip-locked with a guy. Iwaizumi has never retreated that fast in his life, panic bubbling in his stomach and maybe something  _ more. _

Iwaizumi also panicked when he found out his feelings for his best friend weren’t platonic at all. When Oikawa had confessed, and when they shared their first kiss. 

Iwaizumi was always panicky when it came to Oikawa, he notes, but isn’t everybody like that when it’s about the person they love the most? Oikawa is, was, and will always be his person and so his first instinct is to always keep him safe and happy. 

Iwaizumi glances at the clock and sees that it’s 3:34 A.M., he looks at his boyfriend and thinks about how despite all of his Oikawa-induced apprehension— this boy is also his calm and peace. His  _ home _ .

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hiiii i wrote this on my notes app at 3 am and finished it at 4 am after a huge breakdown hehehehe 
> 
> in my head the song hajime sings is tahanan by marilag because it was what i was listening to on repeat writing this  
> if you ever read this thank you for indulging me and my silly little works :)


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